By the end of my first month in Toronto, I understood my routine and every little thing came into picture. In the mean time, I also came to know what the term 'Home Sick' and 'Feeling Lonely' means. I'm thousands of kilometres, twenty hours and $750 away from my home, from my friends and from all the people who could understand me and my weird thoughts and mood. Sometimes the day would start with a blissful but ironically a melancholic dream. The dream of me lying in my good old soft bed, in my home back in my country. The dream would be so realistic that every time I would almost expect to wake up in my own room, filled with the pale yellow morning light. But disappointment would be waiting for me in disguise as my new white coloured Canadian room with broad glass windows allowing the pure white morning sun rays which in no way similar to the beautiful and unique pale yellow morning rays. This loneliness started to grow on me. That growth had an impact, an impact so strong, an impact which made me to forget my own character.
I'm a travel freak. Usually when I'm at a new place, I'd check out the neighbourhood, I'd look for some unique places like lakes or parks. I'd like to establish a comfort zone or rather a personal space of my own in that new place. But for the whole January, I never did any of that. I just went to the college, did my assignments, attended the tests, came back to the room, slept, woke up and for most of the time I regretted my decision of coming to Canada. I never read a book, I never watched a movie. I was forgetting myself in the large intersections, stops and signals of this magnificent city of Toronto. For most of the time, I was resenting the loneliness and having debates with my mind on the topic 'How lonely am I feeling?'
But everything ended one day. That was the day which helped me to figure out the beauty of my loneliness. That day started with the same home dream and regrets. Light showers of pure white and beautiful snowflakes showed up in that peaceful morning. I took a hot water shower and then decided to go to the bank nearby, to deposit some money. That was the first time, I decided to go out alone. I walked through the long and narrow corridors of my apartment and got into the elevator which was going down to the ground floor. When I got into the elevator, there was already a woman and her child. He was a small boy in his third or may be fourth year in this world. He was so charming and playful. I waved at him while his mother was constantly staring at the floor numbers inside the elevator. He was surprised at my friendly approach and waved back. I, then whispered back asking "What's your name?" He giggled and replied "My name is Charles!" and after a small thought he asked
"What's yours?"
"I'm Karthick, nice to meet you" by saying I offered my hand for a shake. He was so happy and excited. He extended his hand. It was a cute little shake. By the time the shake came to an end, the elevator hit the ground floor. I bid one final goodbye to him. He reciprocated the same wave with lots of excitement. I came out of the building and happily encountered the beautiful white snowflakes. It was so soft like cotton and had a pleasing charm. The weather was so pleasant that day. I finished my work at the bank and realized that I was hungry and my stomach was pleading for some input. I saw a small coffee shop opposite to the bank and decided to go there. The place was so small with ten tables and chairs. A middle aged Chinese woman was managing the place. She was unusually attractive. No one was there in that afternoon except me. She first offered me a pleasing smile and then offered a small cup of Irish coffee and a doughnut. When she asked me to select a soup, I asked for the tomato soup and then (my mistake) added "It's pure vegetarian right?"
Her smile turned into a sound laugh. "Tomato soup - pure vegetarian" she repeated this phrase in her own cute accent and laughed. After five minutes I was served with a bowl of tomato soup as promised in the picture. To say the least it was unexpectedly delicious. The hot coffee and sweet doughnut added the delight. I expressed my thanks to her for making the most delicious soup I ever had. She started calling me "Veggie boy" I bid a goodbye to her and I got "Goodbye dear" in reply. I came out of the shop to catch the bus back to my room. That day was so relaxing and charming and ended in a peaceful manner. Not much happened, but it taught me to notice the beauty lying unnoticed in some very tiny things. That evening, I took my camera out, after a very long time, and went out for a small shoot. I enjoyed being alone, being myself. That day helped me to find myself. After that experience, slowly I started my little explorations and photography trips.
Sometimes I go out for short photography trips with Dominic, my friend and roommate. We have mutual interests in photography and film making. He has the very same Canon 550D, which I have. We explored some unique places, parks, hills and mainly the places around Lake Ontario. These trips are nothing less than spectacular. Now, this is the reason or a small flash back behind the first paragraph. Bluffers park was one of our scenic and breathtaking photography trips. I think I stopped the paragraph with us taking the quiet little road. Yes! We took the quiet little road and the road led us to a beautiful forest way. It was two kilometres and a half an hour walk through the woods. After few minutes we got completely cut off from the noise and hassles of the society. The place was so quiet and eerily beautiful.
We continued to walk and I was constantly watching the thick blue and pleasantly beautiful sky in a distance. We just heard that Bluffers is a nice forest area. We continued our stroll as the evening was proceeding to an end. The sun showered the place with its pale orange glitters and rays. It was a sweaty walk in the upside hill. We saw a middle aged man walking in a distance and decided to ask him about the whereabouts of the park. We approached him and asked
"Uhh, excuse me, Where's Bluffers Park?"
"Do you see the ocean back there?"
"Ocean! Where?"
"There..." In the direction, he pointed, there was the blue sky I was starring, giving away no sign that its actually an ocean, lying peacefully with little to no waves, making no noise, with its exquisite and admirable deep blue color. That scene, to say the least, took my breath away. The landscape setting was truly inspiring, the sky so bluish pink, clouds scattered around in a pattern, kissing the magnificent blue ocean.
We clicked some pictures, while some people were spending their time feeding nuts to the crowded gang of singing birds. Some pictures later, I kept my camera aside and sat comfortably in one of the big rocks facing the ocean. Except the voice of the fresh breeze, and the mesmerizing sound of sea gulls there was no sound, nothing to be heard. I was sitting there, longing to posses the talent of a painter or a poet. It was one of those magical evenings of silence and wonder.
This is one of my fascinating short trips, the beauty of which I could share only verbally or in writing with others. Often, I'll go out alone with only Mozart and my camera as my company. I'm spending hours in the library, hearing Mozart and recently I'm happy that I'm reading a lot. Lone trips are something special and close to my heart. Recently or yesterday, to be exact, I took a route bus, the route 102, I take this bus everyday to go to my college, but never travelled ahead of that stop.
But yesterday, I had an opportunity to sit on one of the most comfortable seat near the heater, and never got down. The bus passed through my college, passed through a small town, crossed a highway, all of the passengers got down in their respective stops but I never did. It was me and the driver. The bus was now travelling in a beautiful road, which passes through a barren farm land. The farm land had the courtesy to not interrupt the beautiful evening sun rays which entered through the glass window of the bus and hugged me. I finally decided to get down and did so in the midst of nowhere. The place was so alluring, as the land had an unknown working factory in a distance with its beautiful and fascinating chimney smoke, sun rays offered an additional beauty to that chimney smoke. With Mozart's divine solo violin flowing like an entrancing falls through my ears, the chimney smoke, barren farm lands, that walk was one of the special moments in my life. Now, I stopped complaining as I began to see and enjoy the true beauty of being alone.
2 comments:
Nice Pleasant Chapter da..!! Wats tat 750$ means.. ticket money????? Some of the most beautiful pics u have taken r shown in this chapter oly... Nice explanation a very brief one..:)i liked it very much..:):)
750$ away from home classic! Good keep writing... U need to write a separate chapter on our trip to south marine drive the experience
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